


Hoping For Snow

by cafephan



Category: Phandom/The Fantastic Foursome (YouTube RPF)
Genre: Angst, Flashbacks, such a seasonally appropriate upload wow go me
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-03-28
Updated: 2015-03-28
Packaged: 2018-03-20 02:16:48
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,642
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/3632907
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/cafephan/pseuds/cafephan
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>It's the first Christmas since Dan and Phil's breakup, Dan took it harder and moved away, and they've had no communication since. But what happens when, a year later, they're both in the same town at the same time?</p><p>Kinda based on Hoping For Snow by The Vamps yay</p>
            </blockquote>





	Hoping For Snow

At one time, up until the year before, Phil adored Christmas. The hustle and bustle of last minute shoppers, he would chuckle at their disorganisation. The carollers that would bid him good day as he passed, dropping a handful of coins into the pot as he did. The illuminations that hung from the ceiling of every shopping centre, he would smile at how at home the whole atmosphere made him feel. The fact he had Dan.

This year, things were different. He trudged through the now sludgy snow, whilst fine powdery snowfall dusted his coat. He would be cynical of every shop advertising Christmas specials, every building blaring out a Christmas classic. He wandered through the shopping centre aimlessly, after leaving everything until the last minute, precisely the type of person he would have mocked mercilessly not a year before.

He passed couple after couple with entwined hands drifting out of shops together, cheerful in each other’s company. At one point that was he and Dan, way back when.

“Merry Christmas sir!” a far too chirpy cashier smiled as he handed Phil's bag of shopping back to him.

A mumbled response followed.

He passed a couple on his way home, gazes full of affection. It reminded him of Dan, but then again there wasn’t much that didn’t. As the couple posed for a romantic photograph, it reminded him of where things began to deteriorate with Dan.

‘I’ve made mistakes, but so have you’

He regretted the text since the second it was sent, before Dan even had a chance to reply. He knew it was the beginning of the end, and he had a never-ending grudge against himself as a result.

After a hefty sigh, he continued walking along the white pavement trying to recover some of the childlike reaction to snow he used to possess. 

He passed a moving van, and a family proudly moving their furniture into their probably multi-million pound estate. He was reminded of where things went from bad to worse only a few weeks ago.

***

“Dan’s back in town” Caspar told Phil calmly, well aware of his friend’s most likely reaction.

Dan, without sounding terribly cliché, had a sizeable quantity of Phil’s heart. It wasn’t the kind of movie love you can see breaking down from day one, it was the kind of love people told you about when you were little, soulmates and ‘the one’. Phil knew Dan was the one, he just compromised everything, and he would do anything in the god damn world to retrieve the best thing he ever had.

‘Caspar tells me you’re back in town…’

He waited impatiently, unlocking his phone every few seconds and Caspar sending him sympathetic glances every time he did so. 

‘You’re not the only reason I came home’

The wording of Dan's text gave Phil even the tiniest, minuscule wisp of closure, maybe he was part of the reason. Maybe, on some level, Dan wanted to rekindle what they had, too. Because that’s what Phil wanted. More than anything. He had to be tactful, without sounding temperamental.

‘What is?’

Another few minutes of tense waiting followed, with Caspar always looking concerned in between his sips of hot chocolate.

‘Maybe it’s the season, I don’t know.’

***

Phil swung his shopping bag for entertainment as he continued on the winding pavement, Dan never leaving his mind. He was back, back in the house they once shared together, after selling the old flat. Phil was on the other side of town, setting up lodgings in the living room of Caspar and Joe’s flat. 

Wrapped up in his thoughts, Phil found himself sighing, causing a large amount of the frosty air to enter his system. It reminded him of when he and Dan first met, he always seemed to get lost in the past. As he passed countless housing estates with all lights off on the bottom floor, it reminded him of how he and Dan would dance in the dark at midnight, drunk on love and cheap champagne. 

He reached the junction, where straight on would lead him to Caspar’s flat and to the right would lead him to Dan. Choosing against his better judgement, he turned right, more determined than ever.

“Merry Christmas, Mr Lester” one of his old neighbours called, the elderly man from the end of Phil’s old street.

Phil, so far this year, hated the phrase. The entire holiday reminded him of Dan and nothing but, and he couldn’t bear to think of how he wrecked things. 

“Merry Christmas” Phil replied with a genuine smile, realising in just a few minutes he would possibly be getting the best present in the world.

“How are you and Dan? You haven’t left the house much, this is the first time I’ve seen you in about a year!” the question killed Phil. At least someone still considered them a couple. Even if it was an elderly man with developing memory loss. 

He remembered when Louise asked him the same question, not a week after Dan left. He cried, he cried a lot. He remembered when, at the Christmas party he was forced to go to, he escaped outside whilst everyone else was raising toasts to a Merry Christmas and Happy New Year. He escaped outside to dodge the festive spirit, he didn’t deserve it. He and he alone had lost his happiness.

“We’re… we’re fine, thankyou. I’m just heading home now” Phil told the man with another smile, and the man bid him Merry Christmas and headed back inside his home to sit by the fire.

The old house was in sight, and Phil found himself feeling more confident than he could ever have thought, and broke into a paced jog down the street to the house, the only house on the street with no Christmas décor whatsoever. 

He began to ascend the steps to the front door, but something caught his eye. He snuck to the window, and peeked inside. From an outsider, it would’ve looked ridiculously creepy, but he didn’t care. Dan – his Dan – was crying, over him.

Dan was curled in a ball on the sofa, a scrunched tissue in hand and countless scattered around him. Every so often he dabbed away a falling tear, as he continued to watch the home movies that he and Phil had filmed throughout the duration of their relationship.

He looked broken, almost irreparably so. Phil knew, if anyone, he could be the one to fix him. His inner thoughts were becoming fluffy and clichéd, but again he didn’t care. He just wanted to be in there, holding Dan.

After a sprint up the steps and erratic knocking, the sudden halt of sound from the living room gave away that he was close to answering the door. Phil began tapping his foot nervously, up until the point the door slowly creaked open.

There was no reading Dan’s expression when he saw Phil stood on the doorstep at nearly 2am, now dripping wet due to the snow now having melted. Dan's eyes were red rimmed, and Phil wanted nothing more than to reassure him everything was alright.

“What are you doing here?” Dan asked softly, careful not to let his voice crack. He still had a tight grip on the side of the door, ready to slam it in Phil's face if needed.

“I need to tell you something” Phil mumbled, unsure of his wording as soon as he said it.

Dan didn’t respond, evidently indicating he should continue.

“Last year you took a piece of my heart” Phil began, fully expecting Dan to roll his eyes, he always did when Phil would speak like a hopeless romantic. Instead he was sure he could see tears brimming in Dan's eyes. He was simply stating how he was feeling.

“This year, I guess it’s falling apart” he continued, pausing to wipe away a brimming tear on his own waterline.

Dan’s grip on the door began to tremble, as did his whole body. He was close to crying, and Phil couldn’t stand to see him cry anymore. He dared to take a few steps forward so he was only centimetres away, and cupped Dan's face gently in his hands. He rubbed his thumb across his cheek as he proceeded to speak.

“Everyone’s hoping for snow, but I’m just hoping that you’ll come home”

Dan continued to tremble, his grip on the door now completely lost and his arms hung helplessly by his body. 

“It’s already snowing” Dan mumbled, then met Phil's gaze.

“Which means everyone else got their wish” he replied softly, awaiting Dan's response with bated breath.

Dan stared into his eyes for a fair few seconds, and Phil desperately tried to show him through his gaze that he wanted nothing more in the world than to be back with him. He also had to deal with the fact tears were now steaming freely down his cheeks, as well as down Dan’s, although he wiped away as many as he could.

Dan slowly reached up, and removed Phil's hands from his face. He took a step back, and remained button lipped as he gently closed the door, not bothering to muffle the sobs that left his mouth as he did so, not to mention the echoed ones that were released as he slid down the other side of the door.

Phil sunk to his knees and stayed in the sorry position for at least five minutes, sobbing ceaselessly and forming Dan’s name in every one.

Eventually, he reached into his bag and retrieved a notepad he had bought for his brother, ripping out a page and began to write, leaving the note on top of a pile of freshly fallen snow on the doorstep upon completion.

‘Everyone’s hoping for snow, but I’m just hoping that you might make it home. x’

**Author's Note:**

> Such a seasonally appropriate upload, I know. But I wrote this at Christmas for another fandom and I like to post all my works online, and this has yet to be published so it has been adapted to Phan and posted for your (hopefully) reading pleasure here.
> 
> Check out my other works on my profile and phanfiction blog; cafephan.tumblr.com x


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